[ Once, Loki had wished for Thor's vulnerabilities to be as blood vessels visible under the skin, such that Loki could sink the point of his knivfe into them and let the blood blot out that golden Æsir skin. Now, his fury has been banked by time's passing, but hates the sight of those vulnerabilities upon Thor — he had tried for a millennium, armed with the alternate extremes of mischievous cruelty and the kindness of brotherhood, to eke out the loadstone of greatness behind the arrogance. But it hadn't been Loki who had made vain Thor into a king, it had been the mortals and their flash-floods of ineffectual courage.
And even now, Thor knows that sadness more intimately than anything else. For the King of Asgard to be defined by petty ties to the inhabitants of a short-sighted realm like Midgard: it no longer burns, not as it once had, but it is a constant reminder that Loki is wasted at Thor's side. That is his only true destiny; one day, he will rise again amongst the stirrings of war and malcontent, and he will again play the role that was writ for him.
Esja will serve Asgard as a Queen. She will bear Thor's heirs, one da, children painted with seiðr of such complexity that they will be Æsir alone. She will play her part, until Loki is ready to don his golden horns again. The Devourer will see: the threat of his dominion in the realms cannot be allayed by the simple promise of Ragnarök. Every day, Loki tells himself such. And every day, he promises that the next will be the beginning of Asgard's end. ]
For shame, then. You must not have dreamt of me.
[ Her words are equally solemn, but she delivers them against Thor's throat, under the hinge of his jaw, letting him feel the smiling curve of her mouth.
Because Loki cannot admit that Esja knows to navigate happiness with the skill of one accustomed to it, just as he cannot admit that this is the answer that the Devourer had sought to retrieve from him. Esja does not exist. ]
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And even now, Thor knows that sadness more intimately than anything else. For the King of Asgard to be defined by petty ties to the inhabitants of a short-sighted realm like Midgard: it no longer burns, not as it once had, but it is a constant reminder that Loki is wasted at Thor's side. That is his only true destiny; one day, he will rise again amongst the stirrings of war and malcontent, and he will again play the role that was writ for him.
Esja will serve Asgard as a Queen. She will bear Thor's heirs, one da, children painted with seiðr of such complexity that they will be Æsir alone. She will play her part, until Loki is ready to don his golden horns again. The Devourer will see: the threat of his dominion in the realms cannot be allayed by the simple promise of Ragnarök. Every day, Loki tells himself such. And every day, he promises that the next will be the beginning of Asgard's end. ]
For shame, then. You must not have dreamt of me.
[ Her words are equally solemn, but she delivers them against Thor's throat, under the hinge of his jaw, letting him feel the smiling curve of her mouth.
Because Loki cannot admit that Esja knows to navigate happiness with the skill of one accustomed to it, just as he cannot admit that this is the answer that the Devourer had sought to retrieve from him. Esja does not exist. ]